Accomplishments, dreams, and love.

I've been watching "One Tree Hill" on Netflix over the last couple of weeks. I'm on season 7 of 9. Throughout the show they are always talking about accomplishments and that being the key to life and happiness. If they don't follow their dream they'll never truly be happy. Not with themselves or someone else..

I start to think and realize I don't have many of those [accomplishments] lying around. I never graduated high school. I've never been to college. I've had one real job in the entire [almost] 21 years I've been around. I dropped everything so Deven could have his career in the Navy and I could be the best mother I knew how to be. I've never chased any dreams. I'm not sure I've ever even had a dream.

Last time I thought about what I wanted to do with my life, was before I had Jordyn. I was 16, I had just watched "Pearl Harbor" for the first time in class and I thought to myself, I'd love to join the Air Force and be a nurse. That was the last real thing I ever said I wanted to do with my life.

I've always wanted to be a mother. I remember thinking that all I wanted was to have a family. Even in high school I'd say all I wanted was to be a mom. I'd get this crazy look and it'd always follow by "a mom?" I'd nod and smile. Truth is, I always felt like being a parent was one of the most rewarding jobs. Even before kids, I felt that way.

So doesn't that mean I accomplished my dreams? Even if all I accomplished was a family?

Being a mother is great. It's amazing. Even at the rip age of 17 when I had Jordyn. (She was not planned for those of you who are now questioning my motives. She really wasn't.) Having two kids by 19 wasn't my plan. I wouldn't trade it. Sometimes though, I wonder if being a mother is good enough for my kids. When they get older and ask me about my dreams and accomplishments, will it be enough for them?

I think it will be. I hope so anyway. I'm happy. I have plans, I have things I want to do. Things I'm going to try to do. It won't break me if they don't happen though. I won't be bitter or unhappy. In fact, I am happy. At the end of the day, when I lay my head on my pillow and I close my eyes, I'm happy. To me, the key to life and happiness is love. I use to think love wasn't enough, that you needed more in life. Love makes you try a little harder, push a little farther, laugh a while longer. Love makes you happy, love makes you sad. Love can build you up or tear you down. But at the end of the day, all anyone wants is to have love. To love and be loved.

I have love. I have a lot of love. I am loved. I'm love deeply. I have love with my children and my husband. I have love with my family and my friends. I may not have done something incredible with my life. My only dream may have been to have a family. That may be the only dream I ever accomplish. At the end of the day though, I'm happy. I'm happy and in love.

To me, that is good enough. That's enough. Love is enough.